Tag Archives: #myfav

#‎ThisThingCalledLove‬ – Yes it exists

When you see people falling apart in relationships, getting divorced from just within weeks to years being in a married life, hearts breaking in college canteens, in office parking lots, people moving out of each others lives just by dropping a text message which reads “its over” or sometimes people just chose to walk out of someones life even without saying a word, you begin to imagine there is no such thing called love. There is no such thing called “happily ever after”. Love stories seem to be all different kinds of lies portrayed in a beautifully packaged manner on big screens. You kind of give up on love. 

And then you see few stories which are just beyond words, which makes you realize that there is called true love. Happily ever after do exist. Eternal love stories do exist. And one such story that makes me believe in love every single time is the story of my parents. Their love for one another is so magnetic and so strong that even after five years since my mother left us forever on her way upto heaven, their love story is as new as it was in 1980.

My mother, the heroine of the love story- Late Mrs. Hawaumma (which means first lady in someones life) was from a Muslim religion and was working as a teacher. The hero of the movie my dad Mr. Sasi Kumar, a Nair Hindu fellow was working with the Timber Co operation. Both these people in a beautiful place my hometown – Andaman and Nicobar Islands.

Dad was this young 28 yr old brat who had just started working and was enjoying life to its fullest. Mom, 27 yr old focused towards her job, an achievement for her cause she had been through enough struggles back in those days to even get proper education one being a gal and second her religion always were her shackles while growing up. Well theirs was not love at first sight but definitely a proper Bollywood movie – romance, action, drama,conspiracy you name it and all of these was in their love story. Both mom and dad had one best friend each who were the love birds of the town and back in late 70’s to roam around in public was not as easy or close to as it is today. So both these love birds were accompanied by their best friends to all the lovey dovey spots they went by my parents. While the love birds spent quality time together, my parents would spend time talking about life, dreams and aspirations eventually making them best friends. 

And just like always “A guy and a girl can never become best friends” people started talking about them. Their friendship was being questioned, people would talk behind their back. Well this didn’t stop them from making their friendship stronger. But when things went out of hands and my moms family got to know about the rumours in town, she was questioned, her job was at stake and all those typical movie scenes you could remember just visualize those (well that’s what i did when she told me their love story when i was a kid).

My dad being this dignified gentleman asked my mom to marry her – so this was like a Hindu guy and a Muslim girl getting married. Even in 2016 honor killing stories surfaces up this was back in 1970’s so you can imagine the amplitude of shock people had including my mother. My mother definitely had true feelings for dad as a friend he was her best friend and she didn’t want to ruin it and said no to his proposal. My dad being this even more true friend to her didn’t want her to be in trouble in anyway. He couldn’t take people talking about her character in even the slightest of disrespectful manner. So he convinced her and against all family and society they got married on 10th Feb, 1980. Yeah the valentine week!!! :) There was lot of melodrama, moms parents being against it, threatening calls to my dad. But with a bunch of close friends who still are by our side helped these two friends tie up in a beautiful bond called marriage. 

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Technically speaking it was arrange marriage cause my dad fell in love with my mom after they got married, before that they were best friends!So yeah these two people got married against all odds. With no support from anyone they stood strong for one another and built a beautiful world of their own and that got completed when my brother and me were born to them. 

Ours was a middle class, happy family- dad,mom, bhaiya and me. Life was good. My parents always told us how strong family values should be, how no matter what family is where love begins and ends. My dad would make all the decisions in the house but it always was discussed and approved by mom. They remained like friends even after the wedding. That’s how i kept seeing them while my growing years.

He never asked my mother to change her name or religion after their wedding. When one day when she was newly married and had been to school the Hindu teachers asked he to put sindoor bindi etc like how hindu brides are supposed to be. And when she came back from school my dad saw her and told her that he liked her for how she was, what she was. He asked her to be the same Hawaumma, his best friend and not change for society or for him. He respected her religion, her values, her invidiuality,her existence. That to me is #ThisThingCalledLove

But our world fell apart when my mom fell crashing on the ground one morning in the year 2000. She was rushed to the hospital and then the tests the reports came she was suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis – a chronic progressive disease causing inflammation in the joints and resulting in painful deformity and immobility, especially in the fingers, wrists, feet, and ankles. This was very new to people back home. And since then till 17th July 2011 when she left us all here alone i have seen her go through immense pain and suffering. Many reasons for that lack of knowledge about the whole disease, trying all possible kinds of healing Allopathy, Ayurveda, Homeopathy even doing all the non scientific stuff cause of the only hope that she would be better one day. 

Well this story is not about the sufferings of my mom, or about the disease. This story is about Love these two people had. This story is more about my dad. This story is how my dad loved my mom. I have learnt from him what it is to love unconditionally beyond physical appearance and looks, to take care of the loved ones first and think about yourself later. My mom’s story is complete if its not my dad who had been with her all those years of pain and suffering and instead just showered her with love,care, trust, faith and hope and the will to be a better person the next day. 

He kept her before himself and loved her with all that he had. He would cook for her, feed her, stay awake all night when mom would be in pain, help her do every single thing. And on top of all this tolerate all her crankiness cause of her medicines she was taking. Times when he would lose his temper but come back and say sorry only to make her feel good. He loved her like her baby. Only thing in his mind 24×7 was her and her health. He would go beyond his comfort zone to do anything to see that little smile on her face in all that pain. Sometimes we don’t realize but more than the person who is ill its the pain the loved ones around kinda bear every day.

When her cremation rituals was going on people asked how do you want to do it – the hindu style or the muslim style and my dad only said whatever she wanted. Well my mom had told her best friends and me that whenever she dies she wanted her body to be buried and not burnt she was too scared of fire. So we did do the cremation as she wanted. My dad chose to do what she wanted not what his religion demanded. That for me was #ThisThingCalledLove.

And what holds this love story so important for me and beautiful to me is not because its about my parents but its because its a love story which continues even after one person in the story has left this world. My dad would keep a portion of all the food items every meal separate first and then have his own from the last five years. And when we asked him the first time why he did it, he said “am so used to feeding her first since the last 11 years that i can’t take a bite without giving her first even though she is not here anymore”. My brother and me were speechless. We didn’t know what to tell him. That for me was #ThisThingCalledLove

He still buys birthday and anniversary greeting cards for mom, would write a small message for her and keep it near mom’s pic in the living room. He would visit her grave almost every other day, every ocassion – every 17th of every month(that’s the date when she passed away),her  birthday, their anniversary, our birthdays, festivals both Hindu and Muslim ones, even on teachers day and whenever anything important. The latest being when my dad bought an Activa for himself (kinda trend among men in the 60’s to buy Activa) and took it to show mom. :)

He lives every day loving her even more and more. He lives every day waiting to meet her in another world. He lives every day for her children- bhaiya and me. He lives every day knowing that the only woman he loved ever was her. 

That love is the love which makes me grow every single day knowing that Love is Pure. Love is not just in this world love is when the partner is in another world. Love is to appreciate those smallest of things that would make the partner smile. Love for me are my Parents Love Story.

May all of us find love in our lives. Love which is unconditional. Love which doesn’t demand. Love which only knows to give. Love which only knows the happiness of the other.

This post is a part of ‪#‎ThisThingCalledLove‬  activity hosted on Women’s Web calling out for  #InvitingLoveStories

Ending it with one of my favorite love song – 

Happy Valentines Day!! Live. Love.Laugh.

Happen to see this image on a talented illustrators fb page that i follow religiously and couldn’t stop from sharing it here. It totally summarizes my post. Thanks a ton friend. 

Please do check out his fb page Inkology, some really good stuff on the wall. 

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Yin Yang Zentangled – Post 04

Unless you see the bad you would never realize what good is, unless you know how to cross darkness you wouldn’t enjoy what it is to be in light and unless you know what  it is to be feel being chained you would never enjoy what it is to be free.

Today i am one step closer to something that i have been going through since quite sometime and would tell you all one day the story behind it. For now to celebrate it and to make that journey more stronger for me this is what i drew last night.

THE DARKEST NIGHTS PRODUCE THE BRIGHTEST STARS !!!

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Yin Yang Zentangled

I have a small should I be posting these drawing like a blog post under the drawing category or make a separate page for all my drawings. I am always confused with pages and posts in WordPress 😦 Please let me know your suggestions, would really appreciate it. 

All i am today i owe it to you MOM

Disclaimer : This is gonna be one emotional blog post for obvious reasons it is surrounded around the most strongest women i have seen in my life or shall ever see again – my mother. And so to cut down words was little tough. I need to work on my editing skills. 😦

As i was going through the “What next to blog” zone i came across the Daily Prompt  about My Favorite  -“What’s the most time you’ve ever spent apart from your favorite person? Tell us about it.” prompt alert. And i knew instantly what am gonna write.

My Mom being my favorite person in literal sense am gonna be apart from her for an entire lifetime now until i go to the grave and join her in heaven(assuming am not kicked to hell cause am no saint and my mother definitely making her place in heaven 🙂 ) So this is to you mother.

All i am today i owe it to you Mom ❤ 🙂

 My mom’s name was HAWAUMMA which means the first woman in someone’s life and hell yeah indeed she was. I don’t really wana talk about her childhood and keep this blog boring; but i do want to tell that she has always been strong since a kid and she made her way through in life. Becoming a Teacher, being a Muslim she fell in love with my dad who is a Hindu they got married on Feb 10th 1980. Their love story is just like any other romantic story – romance, drama, action, conspiracy a complete Bollywood movie set in the 70’s and 80’s. They stood by one another through all the tough times against families and society norms (an inter religion marriage in India back in the 80’s was a big thing) and they lived happily for 31 years of wedded life. I can write it down on a paper anybody back home in Andaman Islands who knows them will definitely have something to tell you about the love these two pure souls shared. They were a symbol of perfect couple who stood by everything that came their way and made a world of their own.

I have seen how my mother used to take care of the entire house besides being a working mom. She was always there for bhaiya, I have an elder brother who is 34 now and married, for my dad for me for all her friends and relatives. She was the most warm person i have ever come across. She knew me and i am sure she is the only person who knew me in and out. She always gave me assurance about how good i am as a daughter, as a person. She always welcomed people in her home with open arms and lots of love in her heart. She always like any other mom would do kept her happiness secondary to everybody else’s in the house. A particular dress i wanted for my dance program or that new gadget my brother wanted or a new furniture piece for the house she always was the one to compromise. 

I remember that day when she first fell crashing on the floor, i was in my 6th std the year 2000 and had just woken up and suddenly i saw her falling down. She was rushed to the hospital and then the tests the reports came she was suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis – a chronic progressive disease causing inflammation in the joints and resulting in painful deformity and immobility, especially in the fingers, wrists, feet, and ankles. This was very new to people back home. And since then till 17th July 2011 when she left us all here alone i have seen her go through immense pain and suffering. Many reasons for that lack of knowledge about the whole disease, trying all possible kinds of healing Allopathy, Ayurveda, Homeopathy even doing all the non scientific stuff cause of the only hope that she would be better one day. 

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Mom and Dad’s first portrait pic after their wedding, Mysore trip,dad and mom 25th anniversary pic, my first birthday, another anniversary pic, mom and me random pic(Mom was 45 and preparing for her MA exams, the ultimate wedding pic.

I am happy she is way far from all those suffering and pain and am sure she is having fun up there. I have learnt a million things from her that i carry in my heart every single day. Hundreds of promises that i had made to her that keeps me going strong. And some of them is what i want to share with you all.

#1 – Believe in yourself : She knew exactly what she always wanted to do. When everyone discouraged her she did what she knew was right in her head and her heart. She said believe in yourself and one day the world would believe in you.

#2 – Family is where love begins and ends : No matter how successful you become, how many friends you make, how many people come and go in your life- your family will always be there for you and more specifically your parents. They would scold you, ground you, be rude to you but they would always have good for you in their heart.

#3 – Never say no unless you have tried: I have seen her letting herself experiment with so many medications cause she believed unless u try how would u know its good or bad. Sometimes you would fail and sometimes you would succeed.  I have seen her preparing for her Post Graduation exam at the age of 45yrs and setting an example that age is just a number. The good part is whenever you failed you would know what never to do again or if doing it again how differently you can.

#4 – Value people who stand by you during your bad times: My mom had so many friends and she always valued them and treated them as family. In fact all my moms friends are more like my family than my extended relatives. She was always there for them and so were they for her. Its not in the good times you show friendship but times when everybody leaves you and you still have people backing you up those are the people you should cherish forever.

#5 – Do things that make you happy: My entire childhood i was busy getting trained in classical dance and performing stage shows. And she always stood by me as a support cause she knew that made me happy. And seeing her child happy was what made her happy in return. I know days when it was hard for her to even stand up on her own but she would come all the way in that pain to see me perform on the stage and would just say one thing  – “All my pain just vanishes when i see you on that big stage and people clapping for you. All my pain vanishes when you make me proud”. She always told me to pursue all those hobbies that bring happiness within me. Work is something you have to do to earn your bread, but things that you do to make you happy is what should be always done and never stopped. My dancing, writing everything comes from her.

#6 – Forgive and more importantly Forget: I am the kinds who always forgives easily but its very hard for me to forgive those people and my mom told this to me that what is the point of not letting go. What is the point in forgiving and not forgetting You only harm yourself doing that. One who forgives and one who forgets is much more bigger a person than the one who asks for forgiveness. I have seen so many people do wrong to her and yet she would love them respect them and treat them like her own. She said love can conquer the world and she did mean it. 

#7 – You would know how well you have done as a person on your funeral day: I always laughed at this as a kid cause i would question her how would you know cause you wont be alive right and she would just smile and tell you are a kid now, one day you will. I remember the day when her last rituals were being done and the number of people who had turned up to see her. I felt as if am some celebrity’s daughter for a sec cause i had only seen this in the movies or in the news when some famous person passed. Even weeks after she left there were so many people coming home to give pay condolences. All her students, colleagues in her entire career, every person whose life she touched just by her presence was there to give her a farewell. And that is the day i knew that when i leave this world i would want to go like this with so many people around me. 

#8 – There is never a tomorrow unless there is a today: There were days when i would not talk to her cause i would be caught up with work or be out with friends exploring the new independent life that i had as a career woman. And i would tell in my head i ll call mom tomorrow and then the tomorrow never came. Or the festival i kinda skipped to work those extra hours and was not home to be with mom and dad. And let me tell you this the day when life would hit you hard you would know what mistake you have done and you ll never get a chance to rectify it. I remember when i was leaving for a birthday party celebration it was almost a week now that i had not spoken to her even more cause she was unable to talk during the last days and i would always insist dad its okay i ll talk to her tomorrow. We partied hard came back and crashed into bed, we had a dinner party the next day. I wake up in the morning and i see calls from dad and relatives asking me and my brother who stayed in the same city to come home asap cause mom was in ICU and was critical. That day and the next day that followed  i wish i could just undo from my life. We booked tickets my brother and me flew to Kolkata then stayed overnight at the airport and on Monday we took flight to Port Blair, Andaman.  I remember getting down at the airport waiting for dad to come pick us up and i see many of my relatives and bhaiyas friends. We dint turn towards the hospital road instead we reach home. I remember getting down the car and seeing people all lined up around the corner of our street.Many unknown faces, few familiar ones and as i started taking a step closer to home i see all those eyes with tears, people who were my family there and it hit me that what i see when i enter the house would be something i would not even want to dream. I see her there in the living room lying in peace and eyes closed forever. I knew she was gone forever. And the number of things that came in mind i cant tell you people it still haunts me. All those times when i spoke to her in a louder tone, every time i did something which made her angry or disapointed her, every such incident which gave her pain, all those times when i saw “mom calling” on the mobile screen and i would put it on mute i had lost that chance of rectifying those mistakes. I would never get to tell her how much i loved her and how proud a daughter i was. I would never get a tomorrow. All i had was a today when i should have done things and i didn’t. 

Sometimes we are so involved in our lives that we forget to do those small gestures of love and kindness to our close and loved ones. We forget to tell our parents how much we love them whereas we are never too busy to tell our managers and leads about our project status. We always make time to get into a social gathering with colleagues or a business lunch that we attend but we chose to not attend those festival celebrations with our own siblings with whom we have grown up. We forget to take time to call up our friends and ask them how they have been doing but we make sure we ask our colleagues ‘hey dude how was the weekend?’. If only we realized all this now and not later when people are forever gone from our lives. I have been through breakup but i knew that person exists some where i could get back and say a hello any day i want to but when someone as close as your mom leaves its a void, you can never pickup a call and say a hello ever again. You can never get a chance to hear someones voice once they are gone forever. You can never get a chance to touch the person when they are gone forever. You can never ever once they are gone. 

So this is to all of you and me make time for your loved ones, make that 5 minutes in your life to call up the people who love you so unconditionally. Make it a point to call up your parents and tell them how much you love them and how proud a son or daughter you are. Call up those friends who were with you when even your family didn’t understand you. Call up your sibling who fought for you with parents and stood by you, who was your first friend. And to all those who are still standing by you and loving you value them. I am glad to have a dad who has never let me realize the loss of a mother. He has been my hero and shall forever be. I have learnt from him what it is to love unconditionally beyond physical appearance and looks, to take care of the loved ones first and think about yourself later. My mom’s story is complete if its not my dad who had been with her all those years of pain and suffering and instead just showered her with love,care, trust, faith and hope and the will to be a better person the next day. So call your loved ones now!!!

“If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane.I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again. No farewell words were spoken, No time to say “Goodbye”. You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. My heart still aches with sadness, and secret tears still flow. What it meant to love you – No one can ever know.”

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Mom used to write me letters when she keeping well its one such letter, an album full of my childhood pics which was also the last gift from her after which she was totally bed ridden, that’s one last pic of bhaiya mom and me in one frame.

I love you mom, my life without you shall always be incomplete. I hope you are doing awesome up there and have made friends quickly like you always do. Dad misses you the most. Bhaiya was always close to you and he misses you every single day. And for me, no one can understand the mother-daughter relation ever so you know how much i miss u. We all do like crazily miss you every day of our life. There is never a time when your friends don’t talk about you without a tear in their eyes. Life would have been so much better if you had stayed a little longer! Love u. Muah!!! ❤

IMPERFECTION is INDIVIDUALITY..ehh,okay,really??

Happy Sunday people!!!! December is such a lovely month of the year so much of fun,celebration,happiness,festivities all around. People talking about taking vacations, talking about the new resolutions (of which 50% are the incomplete ones of the current year …including me as well) .

On that note am not gonna talk about December and Resolutions on this post, but in fact this post is going to be another one inspired from the Daily Prompts which i don’t refer daily, am to moody about it 😛 😛 😛 So this time the prompt was Flawed  – What is your worst quality?? Now who would wanna talk about their own worst quality on a blog??!!!

And i realized, aren’t these The Flaws that make us different from the person standing right next to me, cause they are MY FLAWS.!!! Imperfection is Individuality!!! and i totally believe that thought. What is the fun being perfect and boring and mundane, it’s better being weird and crazy and fun and interesting… 🙂

So talking about my flaws i have many like i expect a lot from my loved ones, i don’t like being lonely ( i have never understood the funda behind “My time”, never works for me), i don’t like the way i look when it comes to certain features like the scar of six stitches on my nose bridge , i am lazy, i don’t like sleeping which is bad for health blah blah blah 😦 😦 😦 but keeping all that aside, my WORST QUALITY is i have this new syndrome termed by my very close friends, am not sure if there is a medical term for this but they call it PERIODIC ATTRACTION – and this is a fun kinda syndrome cause it applies on almost every aspect of my life be it towards people, things, activities!!! Yeah you heard it right!! 😦 Below is a detailed report of this syndrome/flaw. Hope u have fun diagnosing it. Kindly ignore the handwriting(it’s a lil tough after the thumb injury but somehow looks more realistic considering the handwriting of the doctors which only they and the pharmacist understand 🙂 )

Periodic Attraction Report

Periodic Attraction Report

Yup that’s the report, and unfortunately after all these years my family and friends have not been able to come up with a treatment to this Worst Quality of mine! But few of them have said that i am kinda improving now and to justify that they have my continuous Blogging as proof which initially many thought i would give up after a month or two like i have done before. So yeah am showing positive healing signs 😛 but they do tell me that they find this Syndrome/Worst Quality in me pretty interesting and fascinating cause it keeps them all entertained.

I am happy the way i am , i think that makes me ME!! I do agree there are few  flaws which i really need to correct like sleeping on time, being not so lazy etc. but this periodic attraction does happen many times in my life but i just can’t help it so i am trying to let people know about it around me so that then i have this challenge of proving them wrong 😛 

I am happy I am flawed, I hate perfection! I find them utterly boring! Now tell me what are your flaws??? Do u love them!!! 

I wear my art – inspired from Daily Prompt#01

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Tattoo….You?.”

How i ended up to make this post?? I was looking for these different blogging write up challenges and other random stuff and i came across the Daily Prompts 

Though today’s Daily Prompt was – Home Turf i ended up on the search page as the prompt “Tattoo” and this simply brought a smile on my face cause – I AM INKED 🙂 Yeah people and i am totally in love with them (yeah got 2) and I am gonna talk about them in my blog today.

What do Tattoos mean to me? To sum up everything that i feel about tattoos i read somewhere which totally justifies what i feel about the tattoos and it read as “Tattoos are the only things you take to the grave. Having tattoos does not make you a delinquent or a thug..its art! Art is about self expression and creativity. Some people hang their art, we wear ours!” And both my tattoos are very close to my heart cause i had put in a lot of thought in designing them my self.

My First Tattoo: 

Inked on : 31st December 2010 Tattoo placing Left upper back shoulder Colors used : Purely black Location : Get Inked Tattoo Studio, Hyderabad, India. Story behind the Tattoo : I was always fantasized by people who had tattoos, i just wanted to go ahead and ask them what they meant, why they needed it etc etc. I started reading about them, their meanings, placing on the body, inks to be used, precautions and everything about tattooing during my college days. I was very scared though – not of the needle or the pain but scared of mom & dad 😛 Not that they are narrow minded or very strict but i think no parent would like the idea of their kids getting inked. So i waited for the right moment and took all my time to think about what i would be getting inked. And so when i moved on from the student phase (After my graduation) to a corporate independent woman i decided its time i get myself inked that would remind me the kind of person i would wanna be in life.

Tattoo meaning : It has four elements – the girl – I am proud to be born as a girl, someone who could give life,someone who is a symbol of both compassion and strength. The wings – for the independence and freedom i would have in my thoughts and actions, the skull – to bury all that brings me down and yet helps me learn from the mistakes and grow as a better person and finally the fire – to always have the spontaneity, fighting spirit and youthfulness.So here is my first tattoo IMG_2950357061177

My Second Tattoo: 

Inked on : 26th January 2013 Tattoo placing Left hand inner side near the elbow Colors used : Black and with shades of white Location :  Dragon ink Tattoos, Goa, India. Story behind the Tattoo : I lost my mom to a disease she was suffering from for close to 14 years. She was the strongest woman i have ever know and will ever know. She lived all the odds against the society, married the man she loved despite being from different religious backgrounds, for nurturing us and making us better human beings, for being the most loved teacher of her students. So when she passed away i decided to make her stay with me life long by getting her name inked. And i didn’t had to think of a design much cause her name itself is so beautiful that all i needed was to get her name inked. 

Tattoo meaning : My mom’s name HAWAUMMA – which means – The first lady in someones life (how true right?? 🙂 ) that is written in Hindi script ( The Indian language) along with an anchor – that means strength and a heart that in this case shows weakness (you only feel weak for someone when you love them so much) . So the overall tattoo meaning – The first lady in my life – my mother – who is both my strength and weakness.181425_3616966795891_121868538_n

Another Tattoo ??  I might get two more tattoos 😉 One i have in mind with the design also framed in my mind, but that’s only when i reach that age in life –  cant predict if i am gonna see the sunrise tomorrow so yeah holding on to that.  If i am lucky to live those many years i would definitely get the tattoo i have in mind from last couple of years inked for sure. The third tattoo pretty soon – couple of months!! Will keep you guys posted. This one would be another milestone in my life.

 ——- Updated on 24th November 2015 ——-

My Third Tattoo: 

I didn’t realize i would end up getting the third tattoo so soon even though i had mentioned couple of months when i originally posted this on 25th Sep 😛 ehhh these are damn addictive!! So here is my THIRD TATTOO and this one being the smallest one so far.

Inked on : 12th November 2015 Tattoo placing Right hand wrist parallel to the arm side  Colors used : Black and with shades of white Location : Skin DeepBangalore, India . Story behind the Tattoo :  As you knew i already had in mind to get another tattoo and was just waiting for the right time and this was a holiday, i really had this feeling of just going and getting inked so all of a sudden i call up the tattoo studio book an appointment and there i am within 20 minutes. And yeah it was raining like crazy and still i managed to go (being the lazy person i am)

Tattoo meaning : Ideally the tattoo symbolize – Faith Love Hope, one symbol for each of the words – simply meaning these three things that’s gonna last forever in a person’s life. Faith-love-hope tattoos come to our rescue when our beliefs oppose what we experience in reality. To sum it all up, this design explains that the pulse of life that will keep beating only if we get an ongoing doze of faith, love, and hope. A simple-yet-powerful thought for the soul! Only modification being i changed the Faith which is generally a cross to a Semi-colon  that has its own story to tell.  A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life .Now people do not get wrong ideas, i never wanted to commit a suicide :P, but i did take the artistic and metaphorical meaning of constant reminder of the things I’ve overcome in my life – be it loss of my mother, depression, anxiety, fear, insecurity etc.12306003_10206933725974725_147802005_nSo will i get more of these tattoos – I DON’T KNOW!! 😛 But yeah i do have a tattoo already designed in my head as mentioned earlier which i would if i celebrate my 50th bdy. But between the age 28-50 anymore tattoos the answer is I don’t know 🙂

Sneha (the “tattooed” gal from the island :P)

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When Love Arrives – Did you know, will you know???

What is love? Did you know when love arrived, would you have known when love had arrived at first in your life, did you know when love left ?Most of us have our own version of love in our heart and head, which certainly changes if you have fallen in and out of love in your life. Today i don’t want to talk about love but would want to share something with you all that i was introduced by my close friend Vikas (during office hours 😛 ) and now i am addicted to it, that i listen to it everyday once.

 I came across this Spoken Poetry by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye who have beautifully expressed love in their poem and in its spoken form.I sincerely request you all to listen to this, if you haven’t and would love to hear your thoughts and comments on it. 

So when Love Arrives, welcome love and make love comfortable and when Love Leaves, Appreciate and Respect it and make way for more Love!!! Love brings out the best and worst in you, love helps you grow as a better person every time Love Comes and every time Love Leaves!

P.S. I am sure few would have already watched this and have been following them, this is for the ones who didn’t know. After all blogs are supposed to share what you feel and know!Isn’t it???

Lyrics:

I knew exactly what love looked like
in seventh grade
.
Even though I hadn’t met love yet
if Love had wondered into my homeroom,
I would’ve recognized him at first glance.
Love wore a hemp necklace.

I would’ve recognized her at first glance.
Love wore a tight french braid.
Love played acoustic guitar,
and knew all my favorite Beatles songs.

Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me.

And I knew,
I just must be searching the wrong classrooms;
just must be checking the wrong hallways.
She was there, I was sure of it.
If only I could find him.

But when Love finally showed up,
She had a bullcut.
He wore the same clothes every day for a week.
Love hated the bus.
Love didn’t know anything about the Beatles.

Instead,
Everytime I tried to kiss Love,
our teeth got in the way.
Love because the reason I lied to my parents.
I’m going to… Ben’s house
Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor,
but made sure we never missed a slow song.

Love waited by the phone,
because she knew if her father picked up
it would be, (heavy breathing)
“Hello, hello… I guess they hang up.”

And Love grew…
Stretched like a trampoline.
Love changed.
Love disappeared
slowly, like baby teeth
losing parts of me I thought I needed.

Love vanished like an amateur magician,
everyone could see the trapdoor but me.
Like a flat tire,
there were other places I had planned on going

but my plans didn’t matter.

Love stayed away for years.
And when Love finally reappeared,
I barely recognized him.

Love smelled different now,
had darker eyes,
a broader back.
Love came with freckles I didn’t recognize,

new birthmarks,
a softer voice.
Now there were new sleeping patterns,
new favorite books.
Love had songs that reminded him of someone else;
songs Love didn’t like to listen to
so did I.

But we found a park bench that fit us perfectly.
We found jokes that make us laugh.
And now Love makes me fresh homemade chocolate cookies.
But Love will probably finish most of them for a midnight snack.

Love looks great in lingerie but still likes to wear her retainer.
Love is a terrible driver but a great navigator.
Love knows where she’s going,
it just might take her two hours longer than she planned.

Love is messier now;
not as simple.
Love uses the word ‘boobs’ in front of my parents.
Love chews too loudly.
Love leaves the cap off the toothpaste.
Love uses smiley messages in her text messages
And turns out,
Love shits.

But Love also cries.
And Love will tell you, “You are beautiful.”

And mean it.
Over and over again,
“You are beautiful.”
When you first wake up,
“You are beautiful.”
When you’ve just been crying,
“You are beautiful.”
When you don’t want to hear it,
“You are beautiful.”
When you don’t believe it,
“You are beautiful.”
When nobody else will tell you,
“You are beautiful.”
Love still thinks,
“You are beautiful.”

But love is not perfect,
and will sometimes forget,
when you need to hear it most,
“You are beautiful.”
Do not forget this.

Love is not who you are expecting.
Love is not what you can predict.

Maybe Love is in New York City,
already asleep.
You are in California, Australia,
wide awake.
Maybe Love is always in the wrong timezone.

Maybe Love is not ready for you.
Maybe you are not ready for Love.
Maybe Love just isn’t the marrying type.
Maybe the next time you see Love is twenty years after the divorce.
Love looks older now but just as beautiful as you remembered.

Maybe Love is only there for a month.
Maybe Love is there for every firework,
every birthday party,
every hospital visit.

Maybe Love stays.
Maybe Love can’t.
Maybe Love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when Love is supposed to.
And Love leaves exactly when Love must.

When Love arrives,
say, “Welcome, make yourself comfortable.”
If Love leaves,
ask her to leave the door open behind her,
turn off the music,
listen to the quiet,

whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”

Spread Love !!! Spread love through your writings, poems, views!!!  –Sneha(gal from the Islands)

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It took me 10 years to learn this!!!

Note – this is by far one my longest posts!! Please bear with me 🙂 🙂

This Sunday morning i decided to go back in time and review my life for the last 10 years. Until i was 18, the most strongest and dominant of emotions in my head was joy,fun,happiness and confidence which has been amalgamated by many other emotions like anger, fear, sadness, self-pity and disgust.

Lesson Learnt 01: It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, & to make your Happiness a priority. It’s a necessary .Though a little late for a 28-year-old , independent modern aged women i have realized that loving yourself is the best way to live a happy, guilt-free life. In this manner you end up not giving expectations to others neither you start expecting something from others and with such an attitude-you don’t blame a second person but hold yourself responsible for the outcomes – happy or sad, whatever it is.

My mom always said that i am the kinds who learns from my mistakes and i took it up so seriously that sometimes even though i knew i am gonna ruin things up and where i am heading to is a big mistake i ended up doing it just cause i thought its an attitude (learning from my mistakes) am born with…. i was SO DUMB and STUPID!!!

As kids we are always taught to love others, respect others which i totally agree since we are all social animals and need to be in harmony with other Homo sapiens around us. But what i think most importantly as kids we should be taught to love ourselves first. Only when we are happy and love our self we could spread that love to others.In loving others we somewhere down the line stop loving our own self.

Lesson Learnt 02 : SELF – PITY is easily the most destructive of non pharmaceutical narcotics. It is Addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from Reality I have realized that most of our problems are conditioned. We try to find happiness by self-pity which my friends is only a temporary thing. We sympathize with our selves, the situation and circumstances we are in. And in this process we end up creating more and more suffering for us. Like the laws of attraction says  – the energy you send out is what you attract. What i have most importantly learned is that this self-pity leads in a deadlock – we pity and sympathize about our self and then we expect people around us to sympathize for us. If i am sad and gloomy how can i give happiness to others and attract same from them. If I am in a mess there would be some percentage of chances that I was responsible for it, cause of the choices I had made or for the pressure I succumbed to etc. So Self-Pity is a no no!

Lesson Learnt 03:  You teach people how to treat you. By what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. Isn’t it true? I wish when i had said NO on certain instances if at all i had sent out a clear message that a NO meant a NO and not a MAYBE or YES, i would have saved few heart breaks and few failures :P. If at all i had been more blunt in my words, as said before setting expectations (the first point – see they are all inter related only if i had realized). I wish i had built a strong line of defense for myself and not letting people harm me easily. Boundaries that didn’t mean to demean me or anyone else but would  penetrate to people who could handle my worse and my good both equally. And in this process few people might have left me or would leave me – everyone has a right to choose for themselves , if I am not the chosen one then I should accept it. I should be ready to move on and value the ones who chose to stay with me.

Lesson Learnt 04: If you don’t ask ..the answer is always no. If you don’t go after what you want..you’ll never have it. If you don’t step forward..you’re always on the same spot. Ahh!! this is one of my fav lessons learnt in the last 10 years. Be it the profession we want to choose, the relationship we want to take forward, the kind of job/salary you are eligible for, the reason why someone else was chosen over you for a promotion, a better opportunity, or for as simple as the one rupee you are supposed to get back as balance from the shopkeeper instead you are handed over by a toffee. Unless we question things that happen to us we wouldn’t know its credibility. Life is to a larger extent is all about the choices we make so it is absolutely perfect and normal to questions those options life gives you. 

Lesson Learnt 05: I am not a product of my circumstances I am a product of my decisions. When in trouble in any kind of situation – physical, emotional or mental – if you aren’t happy about it you have two options – either accept it or fight it. It could be from choosing to move out of a bad and abusive marriage or choosing to move out cause you thought you and your partner were not compatible. It’s your life you have the right to redesign it for yourself. It could be choosing to fight against a disease you have been diagnosed with or just letting that diseases take over you your body and your life. It could be either telling the ugly truth to someone close to you or just bitching about them on their back and praising them on their face. So either accept things or fight against it. There is no savior. No one can save you unless you decide to take stand and take control of things, family and friends are only there to guide you.

Lesson Learnt 06: Family is where life begins and love never ends. They are always there for you no matter how old you become, how far you have grown in your life, how many people have come and gone in your life…they would always stay there by your side ..ALWAYS! People might come and go, promise you of love and care and suddenly one day shatter your dreams or start demanding in other ways for that love anything and everything can go wrong..but family – specially your parents they would always be there to support you. They would be strict and rude to you most of the times due to the generation gap but somehow they would end up being good for you in the long run. Today where i stand i think i owe it all to my mom who is now no more withe me but always in my thoughts and my dad who has been my biggest support. My elder brother with whom i have fought over things like a tv remote, when he didn’t approve of me having a bf (elder brothers i tell you!! 😉 ), for not being there with me when i wanted to play and he wanted to roam around with his friends. But he was always there when i did something wrong and wanted to be saved by the wrath of my parents he took it all on himself or he always kept a check on me who my friends were where am i going etc etc. Everything i am today is because of my parents and my brother. I love you guys!!muah muah!!!

Lesson Learnt 07: A woman always needs her girlfriends. They are like sisters you pick for yourself. I never understood the seriousness of this ten years back but now i can totally advertise this – Hell yeah!! I am in love with my girlfriends!!! No matter how old you grow , you have a man to love you, you would always need your girlfriends to go back to. I do agree friends could be both male and female but the kind of attachment you have with your girl gang  nothing can beat that friendship and it only grows stronger like a wine over the years. So invest that time in this friendship may be just calling up every one of them on a sunday afternoon over a conference call, meeting them for a coffee, asking them to help you go shopping, just talking to them right from that other girl in office to kitchen tips to sobbing about your heart-break to the new crush in office you would need them every time. I am glad to have found my besties over these ten years – Swetha, Ranjitha, Aakanksha, Sravani, Phanisri, Ahladini, Tulika, Nicy, Sriji and Sonam. These friends of mine have played different roles in my life – the caregiver, the crazy one, the rock, the opposite, the cool one, the honest one, the secret keeper, the i need to talk right now 🙂 🙂 🙂 And yup i have few guy friends who in the truest sense are my soul mates turned into friends without whom i guess i would always be incomplete. I love you guys too!! Who said soul mates only means lovers… isn’t it??

Lesson Learnt 08: Good education, financial stability, confidence is what a modern-day woman needs to have first for herself. Yes and i strongly live by it. Nothing more important than these three things and you could survive in this world. No matter if you have a financially stable partner one must always be have her own cash (for various reasons from moving out to buying something for yourself without thinking about the family obligations) Good education – knowledge is the strongest weapon one can have it can take you far and strong. Confidence- it may not bring you success but makes you ready to face all kinds of challenges.

So these are some of the lessons life has taught me in the last ten years from 18 to 28 life has been a roller coaster ride with so many twists and turns. Some hard times from which i have learnt to come out strong, some good ones which keeps the excitement and happiness emotion still dominant in me. I am not saying i know everything cause life is a journey and you learn with every step and turn. Like Maya Angelou said, “I know enough for today, for tomorrow I am learning.” Life is beautiful and we were born to be real and not perfect.

Ending with one of my fav quote – Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to Dance in the Rain!!!

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Sneha (gal from the island)

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Quotes that inspired me!!!

As per Google, the definition of Quote is pretty simple it says – repeat or copy out (words from a text or speech written or spoken by another person) . So simple right?? But aren’t these simple words by some random person leave a huge impact on our lives simply because it contains a wealth of wisdom in a single line.

Read my post on  – How do QUOTES help us???

And there are handful of such simple lines that have kept me going whenever i fell, lost track, lost hope, felt cheated, troubled and crippled in the head. These words changed me as a person, the way i think and even they way i feel for that matter.

I owe a lot to the people who have inspired millions of us from their life experiences, help us give words to how we feel .

—— Quotes that have inspired me and many like me am sure ——

1. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

2. “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.” – Erma Bombeck

3. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

4. “Self -sacrifice ? But it is precisely the self that cannot and must not be sacrificed” – Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead

5. “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.” 

6. “Dance is a song of the body. Either of joy or pain” – Martha Graham

7. “Life is worth living when you realize that there are a few heart beats to be missed and a few kisses to be received” 

8. “Life is a pendulum between a smile and a tear” 

9.  “When you came in this world you were crying but the world rejoiced..do something that when you die world cries and you rejoice.” 

10. “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” – Helen Keller

11. “It’s not about waiting for the storm to pass..it’s about screaming with the thunder, running with the lightning, and learning to dance in the rain”

Finally the  quote that keeps me going every single day is 

“SHE STOOD IN THE STORM , AND WHEN THE WIND DID NOT BLOW HER WAY, SHE ADJUSTED HER SAILS” – Elizabeth Edwards

Sneha (gal from the island)

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