Tag Archives: #blogging101

#‎ThisThingCalledLove‬ – Yes it exists

When you see people falling apart in relationships, getting divorced from just within weeks to years being in a married life, hearts breaking in college canteens, in office parking lots, people moving out of each others lives just by dropping a text message which reads “its over” or sometimes people just chose to walk out of someones life even without saying a word, you begin to imagine there is no such thing called love. There is no such thing called “happily ever after”. Love stories seem to be all different kinds of lies portrayed in a beautifully packaged manner on big screens. You kind of give up on love. 

And then you see few stories which are just beyond words, which makes you realize that there is called true love. Happily ever after do exist. Eternal love stories do exist. And one such story that makes me believe in love every single time is the story of my parents. Their love for one another is so magnetic and so strong that even after five years since my mother left us forever on her way upto heaven, their love story is as new as it was in 1980.

My mother, the heroine of the love story- Late Mrs. Hawaumma (which means first lady in someones life) was from a Muslim religion and was working as a teacher. The hero of the movie my dad Mr. Sasi Kumar, a Nair Hindu fellow was working with the Timber Co operation. Both these people in a beautiful place my hometown – Andaman and Nicobar Islands.

Dad was this young 28 yr old brat who had just started working and was enjoying life to its fullest. Mom, 27 yr old focused towards her job, an achievement for her cause she had been through enough struggles back in those days to even get proper education one being a gal and second her religion always were her shackles while growing up. Well theirs was not love at first sight but definitely a proper Bollywood movie – romance, action, drama,conspiracy you name it and all of these was in their love story. Both mom and dad had one best friend each who were the love birds of the town and back in late 70’s to roam around in public was not as easy or close to as it is today. So both these love birds were accompanied by their best friends to all the lovey dovey spots they went by my parents. While the love birds spent quality time together, my parents would spend time talking about life, dreams and aspirations eventually making them best friends. 

And just like always “A guy and a girl can never become best friends” people started talking about them. Their friendship was being questioned, people would talk behind their back. Well this didn’t stop them from making their friendship stronger. But when things went out of hands and my moms family got to know about the rumours in town, she was questioned, her job was at stake and all those typical movie scenes you could remember just visualize those (well that’s what i did when she told me their love story when i was a kid).

My dad being this dignified gentleman asked my mom to marry her – so this was like a Hindu guy and a Muslim girl getting married. Even in 2016 honor killing stories surfaces up this was back in 1970’s so you can imagine the amplitude of shock people had including my mother. My mother definitely had true feelings for dad as a friend he was her best friend and she didn’t want to ruin it and said no to his proposal. My dad being this even more true friend to her didn’t want her to be in trouble in anyway. He couldn’t take people talking about her character in even the slightest of disrespectful manner. So he convinced her and against all family and society they got married on 10th Feb, 1980. Yeah the valentine week!!! :) There was lot of melodrama, moms parents being against it, threatening calls to my dad. But with a bunch of close friends who still are by our side helped these two friends tie up in a beautiful bond called marriage. 

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Technically speaking it was arrange marriage cause my dad fell in love with my mom after they got married, before that they were best friends!So yeah these two people got married against all odds. With no support from anyone they stood strong for one another and built a beautiful world of their own and that got completed when my brother and me were born to them. 

Ours was a middle class, happy family- dad,mom, bhaiya and me. Life was good. My parents always told us how strong family values should be, how no matter what family is where love begins and ends. My dad would make all the decisions in the house but it always was discussed and approved by mom. They remained like friends even after the wedding. That’s how i kept seeing them while my growing years.

He never asked my mother to change her name or religion after their wedding. When one day when she was newly married and had been to school the Hindu teachers asked he to put sindoor bindi etc like how hindu brides are supposed to be. And when she came back from school my dad saw her and told her that he liked her for how she was, what she was. He asked her to be the same Hawaumma, his best friend and not change for society or for him. He respected her religion, her values, her invidiuality,her existence. That to me is #ThisThingCalledLove

But our world fell apart when my mom fell crashing on the ground one morning in the year 2000. She was rushed to the hospital and then the tests the reports came she was suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis – a chronic progressive disease causing inflammation in the joints and resulting in painful deformity and immobility, especially in the fingers, wrists, feet, and ankles. This was very new to people back home. And since then till 17th July 2011 when she left us all here alone i have seen her go through immense pain and suffering. Many reasons for that lack of knowledge about the whole disease, trying all possible kinds of healing Allopathy, Ayurveda, Homeopathy even doing all the non scientific stuff cause of the only hope that she would be better one day. 

Well this story is not about the sufferings of my mom, or about the disease. This story is about Love these two people had. This story is more about my dad. This story is how my dad loved my mom. I have learnt from him what it is to love unconditionally beyond physical appearance and looks, to take care of the loved ones first and think about yourself later. My mom’s story is complete if its not my dad who had been with her all those years of pain and suffering and instead just showered her with love,care, trust, faith and hope and the will to be a better person the next day. 

He kept her before himself and loved her with all that he had. He would cook for her, feed her, stay awake all night when mom would be in pain, help her do every single thing. And on top of all this tolerate all her crankiness cause of her medicines she was taking. Times when he would lose his temper but come back and say sorry only to make her feel good. He loved her like her baby. Only thing in his mind 24×7 was her and her health. He would go beyond his comfort zone to do anything to see that little smile on her face in all that pain. Sometimes we don’t realize but more than the person who is ill its the pain the loved ones around kinda bear every day.

When her cremation rituals was going on people asked how do you want to do it – the hindu style or the muslim style and my dad only said whatever she wanted. Well my mom had told her best friends and me that whenever she dies she wanted her body to be buried and not burnt she was too scared of fire. So we did do the cremation as she wanted. My dad chose to do what she wanted not what his religion demanded. That for me was #ThisThingCalledLove.

And what holds this love story so important for me and beautiful to me is not because its about my parents but its because its a love story which continues even after one person in the story has left this world. My dad would keep a portion of all the food items every meal separate first and then have his own from the last five years. And when we asked him the first time why he did it, he said “am so used to feeding her first since the last 11 years that i can’t take a bite without giving her first even though she is not here anymore”. My brother and me were speechless. We didn’t know what to tell him. That for me was #ThisThingCalledLove

He still buys birthday and anniversary greeting cards for mom, would write a small message for her and keep it near mom’s pic in the living room. He would visit her grave almost every other day, every ocassion – every 17th of every month(that’s the date when she passed away),her  birthday, their anniversary, our birthdays, festivals both Hindu and Muslim ones, even on teachers day and whenever anything important. The latest being when my dad bought an Activa for himself (kinda trend among men in the 60’s to buy Activa) and took it to show mom. :)

He lives every day loving her even more and more. He lives every day waiting to meet her in another world. He lives every day for her children- bhaiya and me. He lives every day knowing that the only woman he loved ever was her. 

That love is the love which makes me grow every single day knowing that Love is Pure. Love is not just in this world love is when the partner is in another world. Love is to appreciate those smallest of things that would make the partner smile. Love for me are my Parents Love Story.

May all of us find love in our lives. Love which is unconditional. Love which doesn’t demand. Love which only knows to give. Love which only knows the happiness of the other.

This post is a part of ‪#‎ThisThingCalledLove‬  activity hosted on Women’s Web calling out for  #InvitingLoveStories

Ending it with one of my favorite love song – 

Happy Valentines Day!! Live. Love.Laugh.

Happen to see this image on a talented illustrators fb page that i follow religiously and couldn’t stop from sharing it here. It totally summarizes my post. Thanks a ton friend. 

Please do check out his fb page Inkology, some really good stuff on the wall. 

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All i am today i owe it to you MOM

Disclaimer : This is gonna be one emotional blog post for obvious reasons it is surrounded around the most strongest women i have seen in my life or shall ever see again – my mother. And so to cut down words was little tough. I need to work on my editing skills. 😦

As i was going through the “What next to blog” zone i came across the Daily Prompt  about My Favorite  -“What’s the most time you’ve ever spent apart from your favorite person? Tell us about it.” prompt alert. And i knew instantly what am gonna write.

My Mom being my favorite person in literal sense am gonna be apart from her for an entire lifetime now until i go to the grave and join her in heaven(assuming am not kicked to hell cause am no saint and my mother definitely making her place in heaven 🙂 ) So this is to you mother.

All i am today i owe it to you Mom ❤ 🙂

 My mom’s name was HAWAUMMA which means the first woman in someone’s life and hell yeah indeed she was. I don’t really wana talk about her childhood and keep this blog boring; but i do want to tell that she has always been strong since a kid and she made her way through in life. Becoming a Teacher, being a Muslim she fell in love with my dad who is a Hindu they got married on Feb 10th 1980. Their love story is just like any other romantic story – romance, drama, action, conspiracy a complete Bollywood movie set in the 70’s and 80’s. They stood by one another through all the tough times against families and society norms (an inter religion marriage in India back in the 80’s was a big thing) and they lived happily for 31 years of wedded life. I can write it down on a paper anybody back home in Andaman Islands who knows them will definitely have something to tell you about the love these two pure souls shared. They were a symbol of perfect couple who stood by everything that came their way and made a world of their own.

I have seen how my mother used to take care of the entire house besides being a working mom. She was always there for bhaiya, I have an elder brother who is 34 now and married, for my dad for me for all her friends and relatives. She was the most warm person i have ever come across. She knew me and i am sure she is the only person who knew me in and out. She always gave me assurance about how good i am as a daughter, as a person. She always welcomed people in her home with open arms and lots of love in her heart. She always like any other mom would do kept her happiness secondary to everybody else’s in the house. A particular dress i wanted for my dance program or that new gadget my brother wanted or a new furniture piece for the house she always was the one to compromise. 

I remember that day when she first fell crashing on the floor, i was in my 6th std the year 2000 and had just woken up and suddenly i saw her falling down. She was rushed to the hospital and then the tests the reports came she was suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis – a chronic progressive disease causing inflammation in the joints and resulting in painful deformity and immobility, especially in the fingers, wrists, feet, and ankles. This was very new to people back home. And since then till 17th July 2011 when she left us all here alone i have seen her go through immense pain and suffering. Many reasons for that lack of knowledge about the whole disease, trying all possible kinds of healing Allopathy, Ayurveda, Homeopathy even doing all the non scientific stuff cause of the only hope that she would be better one day. 

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Mom and Dad’s first portrait pic after their wedding, Mysore trip,dad and mom 25th anniversary pic, my first birthday, another anniversary pic, mom and me random pic(Mom was 45 and preparing for her MA exams, the ultimate wedding pic.

I am happy she is way far from all those suffering and pain and am sure she is having fun up there. I have learnt a million things from her that i carry in my heart every single day. Hundreds of promises that i had made to her that keeps me going strong. And some of them is what i want to share with you all.

#1 – Believe in yourself : She knew exactly what she always wanted to do. When everyone discouraged her she did what she knew was right in her head and her heart. She said believe in yourself and one day the world would believe in you.

#2 – Family is where love begins and ends : No matter how successful you become, how many friends you make, how many people come and go in your life- your family will always be there for you and more specifically your parents. They would scold you, ground you, be rude to you but they would always have good for you in their heart.

#3 – Never say no unless you have tried: I have seen her letting herself experiment with so many medications cause she believed unless u try how would u know its good or bad. Sometimes you would fail and sometimes you would succeed.  I have seen her preparing for her Post Graduation exam at the age of 45yrs and setting an example that age is just a number. The good part is whenever you failed you would know what never to do again or if doing it again how differently you can.

#4 – Value people who stand by you during your bad times: My mom had so many friends and she always valued them and treated them as family. In fact all my moms friends are more like my family than my extended relatives. She was always there for them and so were they for her. Its not in the good times you show friendship but times when everybody leaves you and you still have people backing you up those are the people you should cherish forever.

#5 – Do things that make you happy: My entire childhood i was busy getting trained in classical dance and performing stage shows. And she always stood by me as a support cause she knew that made me happy. And seeing her child happy was what made her happy in return. I know days when it was hard for her to even stand up on her own but she would come all the way in that pain to see me perform on the stage and would just say one thing  – “All my pain just vanishes when i see you on that big stage and people clapping for you. All my pain vanishes when you make me proud”. She always told me to pursue all those hobbies that bring happiness within me. Work is something you have to do to earn your bread, but things that you do to make you happy is what should be always done and never stopped. My dancing, writing everything comes from her.

#6 – Forgive and more importantly Forget: I am the kinds who always forgives easily but its very hard for me to forgive those people and my mom told this to me that what is the point of not letting go. What is the point in forgiving and not forgetting You only harm yourself doing that. One who forgives and one who forgets is much more bigger a person than the one who asks for forgiveness. I have seen so many people do wrong to her and yet she would love them respect them and treat them like her own. She said love can conquer the world and she did mean it. 

#7 – You would know how well you have done as a person on your funeral day: I always laughed at this as a kid cause i would question her how would you know cause you wont be alive right and she would just smile and tell you are a kid now, one day you will. I remember the day when her last rituals were being done and the number of people who had turned up to see her. I felt as if am some celebrity’s daughter for a sec cause i had only seen this in the movies or in the news when some famous person passed. Even weeks after she left there were so many people coming home to give pay condolences. All her students, colleagues in her entire career, every person whose life she touched just by her presence was there to give her a farewell. And that is the day i knew that when i leave this world i would want to go like this with so many people around me. 

#8 – There is never a tomorrow unless there is a today: There were days when i would not talk to her cause i would be caught up with work or be out with friends exploring the new independent life that i had as a career woman. And i would tell in my head i ll call mom tomorrow and then the tomorrow never came. Or the festival i kinda skipped to work those extra hours and was not home to be with mom and dad. And let me tell you this the day when life would hit you hard you would know what mistake you have done and you ll never get a chance to rectify it. I remember when i was leaving for a birthday party celebration it was almost a week now that i had not spoken to her even more cause she was unable to talk during the last days and i would always insist dad its okay i ll talk to her tomorrow. We partied hard came back and crashed into bed, we had a dinner party the next day. I wake up in the morning and i see calls from dad and relatives asking me and my brother who stayed in the same city to come home asap cause mom was in ICU and was critical. That day and the next day that followed  i wish i could just undo from my life. We booked tickets my brother and me flew to Kolkata then stayed overnight at the airport and on Monday we took flight to Port Blair, Andaman.  I remember getting down at the airport waiting for dad to come pick us up and i see many of my relatives and bhaiyas friends. We dint turn towards the hospital road instead we reach home. I remember getting down the car and seeing people all lined up around the corner of our street.Many unknown faces, few familiar ones and as i started taking a step closer to home i see all those eyes with tears, people who were my family there and it hit me that what i see when i enter the house would be something i would not even want to dream. I see her there in the living room lying in peace and eyes closed forever. I knew she was gone forever. And the number of things that came in mind i cant tell you people it still haunts me. All those times when i spoke to her in a louder tone, every time i did something which made her angry or disapointed her, every such incident which gave her pain, all those times when i saw “mom calling” on the mobile screen and i would put it on mute i had lost that chance of rectifying those mistakes. I would never get to tell her how much i loved her and how proud a daughter i was. I would never get a tomorrow. All i had was a today when i should have done things and i didn’t. 

Sometimes we are so involved in our lives that we forget to do those small gestures of love and kindness to our close and loved ones. We forget to tell our parents how much we love them whereas we are never too busy to tell our managers and leads about our project status. We always make time to get into a social gathering with colleagues or a business lunch that we attend but we chose to not attend those festival celebrations with our own siblings with whom we have grown up. We forget to take time to call up our friends and ask them how they have been doing but we make sure we ask our colleagues ‘hey dude how was the weekend?’. If only we realized all this now and not later when people are forever gone from our lives. I have been through breakup but i knew that person exists some where i could get back and say a hello any day i want to but when someone as close as your mom leaves its a void, you can never pickup a call and say a hello ever again. You can never get a chance to hear someones voice once they are gone forever. You can never get a chance to touch the person when they are gone forever. You can never ever once they are gone. 

So this is to all of you and me make time for your loved ones, make that 5 minutes in your life to call up the people who love you so unconditionally. Make it a point to call up your parents and tell them how much you love them and how proud a son or daughter you are. Call up those friends who were with you when even your family didn’t understand you. Call up your sibling who fought for you with parents and stood by you, who was your first friend. And to all those who are still standing by you and loving you value them. I am glad to have a dad who has never let me realize the loss of a mother. He has been my hero and shall forever be. I have learnt from him what it is to love unconditionally beyond physical appearance and looks, to take care of the loved ones first and think about yourself later. My mom’s story is complete if its not my dad who had been with her all those years of pain and suffering and instead just showered her with love,care, trust, faith and hope and the will to be a better person the next day. So call your loved ones now!!!

“If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane.I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again. No farewell words were spoken, No time to say “Goodbye”. You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. My heart still aches with sadness, and secret tears still flow. What it meant to love you – No one can ever know.”

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Mom used to write me letters when she keeping well its one such letter, an album full of my childhood pics which was also the last gift from her after which she was totally bed ridden, that’s one last pic of bhaiya mom and me in one frame.

I love you mom, my life without you shall always be incomplete. I hope you are doing awesome up there and have made friends quickly like you always do. Dad misses you the most. Bhaiya was always close to you and he misses you every single day. And for me, no one can understand the mother-daughter relation ever so you know how much i miss u. We all do like crazily miss you every day of our life. There is never a time when your friends don’t talk about you without a tear in their eyes. Life would have been so much better if you had stayed a little longer! Love u. Muah!!! ❤

2015 in review

I was so excited to see this report of a fellow blogger and tried all possible ways to search how could i get to see my report and finally my friend told me to check my mail and there it was.!!! I was so overwhelmed to see how i have been doing, somehow it felt like the same feeling when you get your results after an examination though in the case of blogging you are everything the teacher the student you learn unlearn and relearn things as and when you get deeper into the blogging world!!! I am glad i could i did pretty okay for a time of four months i hope 2016 is gonna be a roller coaster ride for me and i keep writing and reading!!! Wishing everyone a very HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!!! STAY HAPPY STAY BLESSED!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,600 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 43 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Urgent Issue – RESOLVED!!!!

I have been really busy with few stuff and couldn’t update the post on time. The problem got resolved on 1st November only, the very next day of the initial post.  Also its raining heavily here in Bangalore (In the month of November, winter is still coming here 😛 ) So talking about the whole incident i have my take below. Hope you have fun reading it.

 Problem Description – “Hello friends…I accidentally logged out of my WordPress account and now when I am trying to login its asking for one time password which I am not receiving at all… how can I resolve this…. please please help..this post somehow I managed from an already logged in account in my old mobile.”

Result- A big THANK YOU to everyone who responded instantly. I am happy to announce that I am able to access my blog once again 🙂 🙂 🙂 I had tried all the possible solutions provided by fellow bloggers, google (for once google didn’t help me at all) but nothing worked until after 12 hours i started getting the One-Time Password messages on my mobile number almost around 15+ messages (i was very impatient and had tried as many times i could possibly try).  So i am assuming it was something to do with the network issue either on my mobile network or the WordPress server. Whatever it was, i was under panic attack for good long time. 😦

Lesson Learnt from this incident – The first thing i learnt was to be PATIENT. After all how much can you trust the digital stuff. So next time something of this sort happens to me or to you all we got to do is wait for sometime (which could be few hours or the next day  :P) and then try. Secondly I never realized how BLOGGING HAS BECOME AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE.   ❤ ❤ ❤ It was like all that i had invested in the last three months was just lost in few seconds, i couldn’t imagine of not being able to have my own space in this world, or to reach out to the many friends i have made in the blogging community. Some things become more important once you have faced the fear of losing them or lost them. This was a feeling i had associated only with people and not it applies to everything and anything important to me. Third lesson i learnt is sometimes PUSHING YOURSELF TOO MUCH IS ALSO NOT GOOD. So i simply went ahead and disabled the two-step authentication procedure 😛 guess its way better than the whole panic attack i had for couple of hours.

Quick Tips – For people who have access to social media – twitter/Facebook do join the WordPress support forums and community so that in case of such an issue or any other problem we have a help guide, besides the usual blog support groups also the advantage being someone or the other would be using WordPress in the world no matter what time zone

Until the next post Stay Happy Stay Cool and Stay Patient (dts for me)

SEVEN WONDERS is all you need… from DAILY PROMPT#02

Khalil Gibran once said that people will never understand one another unless language is reduced to seven words. What would your seven words be? In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: Seven Wonders 

Personally everyone must have something in life that can keep them going ahead in life. It could be some sort of motto, principle, a statement, a quote or a saying they believe in that keeps one pushing forward and not giving up on  the journey of life. 🙂 🙂 And i managed to sum up mine in  Seven Words that works Wonders for me every time am low, happy, confused, scared or in a huge chaos of emotionsssssssss.. and that is something that i have been using(a summarized version) it in all my blog posts at the end as well – 

LIVE. LOVE. LAUGH. And keep it going!!!

Yes, and this is what i truly believe in every single day. I LIVE and not survive, i LOVE all the people in my life, i LAUGH as much as possible its healing and finally i keep it going on repeat mode 🙂 🙂 🙂

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Do you have a Seven Word Wonder??? Let me know!!! 

Stay happy Stay blessed! 🙂 and wishing all my friends a Happy Dussehra (Indians would know) for my non-Indian friends it’s the festival where Good Triumphs over Evil!!!

A 100 followers + Giveaway and another Blog Award :)

This was one of the perfect weekends ever since i started blogging two months ago. Best cause this was the best weekend with dad here in Bangalore with me(technically speaking my dad and me have lived for two whole months together after like ten years since i moved out for my graduation and then job), long weekend (3 days of leave for an IT person is absolute bliss) and to see notification on my mobile in the morning that i now have A 100 FOLLOWERS 🙂 🙂 🙂 for my blog plus another Sisterhood  AWARD from Dauntlessdream ( i am gonna answer your questions in another post for sure) , What other reasons you need for a perfect weekend?? Yipeeeee Woohoooo and all those adjectives that you wana add to my happiness !!!! I am on cloud nine today!!! 

100 followers: BEFORE I STARTED BLOGGING my idea of blogging was totally different from what i have experienced in the last two months. I assumed blogging was just limited to writing your own thoughts and expecting random people to read it. I was also unaware of the happiness one feels when a word press notification pops up on your mobile saying XYZ has liked your post, ABC has commented on your post and more than anything XYZ and ABC have started following your blog!!!

NOW WHEN I AM INTO BLOGGING In the last two months i am sure nothing has made me this happy as much as the blogging world has by accepting me. And it’s not just about me and my blog, but the whole world of awesome writers,thinkers and beautiful people i have come across through my blogging is overwhelming! I am so addicted to read what people have written about certain things, how they have interpreted a simple word in various ways, to know about new cultures and lifestyle that was totally unaware to me that i am glued to my WordPress mobile app more than whatsapp and candy crush :P. I am really really happy!!!!

So am shouting out loud a BIGGGGGGG THANKKKKK YOUUUU to all those wonderful people who have subscribed to my blog, commented, liked, nominated, criticized, for the love and support and motivated to keep me going with LIFE AS A POTPOURRI my blog and not quit this time half way. I am gonna continue my journey which is a positive and enlightening experience for me. BLOGGING is one best gift i have given myself in the recent past and i am in love with it. Also to all my friends who don’t have a word press account yet visit my blog and comment and give their feedback regularly. Thank you Thank you!!! 

Being accepted by your family and friends is happiness, but being accepted by the world out there is privilege!!

GiveawaySo i would want to celebrate my happiness by giving away something personalized to all the 100 followers ( i haven’t decided on the logistics yet but i am gonna do this for sure, receiving a 100 followers is a MILESTONE)

Rules are pretty simple: Comment on this blog something about yourself or may be a nickname and abbreviation etc so that i can use it on whatever i am making and your email id (so that i can touch base with you if i further needed to). And i am serious about it!!! Am not selecting people in random but the first 100 subscribers of mine cause am in love with you!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 and ** it’s not limited to India alone** ! 

thank-you

Sneha (gal from the island_

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TALESPIN- In Progress

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I really enjoy drawing cartoon characters. I am not good at drawing but i can always see the image and draw (only cartoons for some reason ). I have been doing this for quite sometime and thought of uploading them to my blog as well. So here i am with a new category in my Potpourri – MY LOVE FOR CARTOONS and would be uploading all the drawings as and when i finish them.

My first post is from the cartoon series which i loved watching as a kid – TALESPIN – Wiki link

The character KIT – is in progress 🙂

Watch out for more …..!!!!

 

It took me 10 years to learn this!!!

Note – this is by far one my longest posts!! Please bear with me 🙂 🙂

This Sunday morning i decided to go back in time and review my life for the last 10 years. Until i was 18, the most strongest and dominant of emotions in my head was joy,fun,happiness and confidence which has been amalgamated by many other emotions like anger, fear, sadness, self-pity and disgust.

Lesson Learnt 01: It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, & to make your Happiness a priority. It’s a necessary .Though a little late for a 28-year-old , independent modern aged women i have realized that loving yourself is the best way to live a happy, guilt-free life. In this manner you end up not giving expectations to others neither you start expecting something from others and with such an attitude-you don’t blame a second person but hold yourself responsible for the outcomes – happy or sad, whatever it is.

My mom always said that i am the kinds who learns from my mistakes and i took it up so seriously that sometimes even though i knew i am gonna ruin things up and where i am heading to is a big mistake i ended up doing it just cause i thought its an attitude (learning from my mistakes) am born with…. i was SO DUMB and STUPID!!!

As kids we are always taught to love others, respect others which i totally agree since we are all social animals and need to be in harmony with other Homo sapiens around us. But what i think most importantly as kids we should be taught to love ourselves first. Only when we are happy and love our self we could spread that love to others.In loving others we somewhere down the line stop loving our own self.

Lesson Learnt 02 : SELF – PITY is easily the most destructive of non pharmaceutical narcotics. It is Addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from Reality I have realized that most of our problems are conditioned. We try to find happiness by self-pity which my friends is only a temporary thing. We sympathize with our selves, the situation and circumstances we are in. And in this process we end up creating more and more suffering for us. Like the laws of attraction says  – the energy you send out is what you attract. What i have most importantly learned is that this self-pity leads in a deadlock – we pity and sympathize about our self and then we expect people around us to sympathize for us. If i am sad and gloomy how can i give happiness to others and attract same from them. If I am in a mess there would be some percentage of chances that I was responsible for it, cause of the choices I had made or for the pressure I succumbed to etc. So Self-Pity is a no no!

Lesson Learnt 03:  You teach people how to treat you. By what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. Isn’t it true? I wish when i had said NO on certain instances if at all i had sent out a clear message that a NO meant a NO and not a MAYBE or YES, i would have saved few heart breaks and few failures :P. If at all i had been more blunt in my words, as said before setting expectations (the first point – see they are all inter related only if i had realized). I wish i had built a strong line of defense for myself and not letting people harm me easily. Boundaries that didn’t mean to demean me or anyone else but would  penetrate to people who could handle my worse and my good both equally. And in this process few people might have left me or would leave me – everyone has a right to choose for themselves , if I am not the chosen one then I should accept it. I should be ready to move on and value the ones who chose to stay with me.

Lesson Learnt 04: If you don’t ask ..the answer is always no. If you don’t go after what you want..you’ll never have it. If you don’t step forward..you’re always on the same spot. Ahh!! this is one of my fav lessons learnt in the last 10 years. Be it the profession we want to choose, the relationship we want to take forward, the kind of job/salary you are eligible for, the reason why someone else was chosen over you for a promotion, a better opportunity, or for as simple as the one rupee you are supposed to get back as balance from the shopkeeper instead you are handed over by a toffee. Unless we question things that happen to us we wouldn’t know its credibility. Life is to a larger extent is all about the choices we make so it is absolutely perfect and normal to questions those options life gives you. 

Lesson Learnt 05: I am not a product of my circumstances I am a product of my decisions. When in trouble in any kind of situation – physical, emotional or mental – if you aren’t happy about it you have two options – either accept it or fight it. It could be from choosing to move out of a bad and abusive marriage or choosing to move out cause you thought you and your partner were not compatible. It’s your life you have the right to redesign it for yourself. It could be choosing to fight against a disease you have been diagnosed with or just letting that diseases take over you your body and your life. It could be either telling the ugly truth to someone close to you or just bitching about them on their back and praising them on their face. So either accept things or fight against it. There is no savior. No one can save you unless you decide to take stand and take control of things, family and friends are only there to guide you.

Lesson Learnt 06: Family is where life begins and love never ends. They are always there for you no matter how old you become, how far you have grown in your life, how many people have come and gone in your life…they would always stay there by your side ..ALWAYS! People might come and go, promise you of love and care and suddenly one day shatter your dreams or start demanding in other ways for that love anything and everything can go wrong..but family – specially your parents they would always be there to support you. They would be strict and rude to you most of the times due to the generation gap but somehow they would end up being good for you in the long run. Today where i stand i think i owe it all to my mom who is now no more withe me but always in my thoughts and my dad who has been my biggest support. My elder brother with whom i have fought over things like a tv remote, when he didn’t approve of me having a bf (elder brothers i tell you!! 😉 ), for not being there with me when i wanted to play and he wanted to roam around with his friends. But he was always there when i did something wrong and wanted to be saved by the wrath of my parents he took it all on himself or he always kept a check on me who my friends were where am i going etc etc. Everything i am today is because of my parents and my brother. I love you guys!!muah muah!!!

Lesson Learnt 07: A woman always needs her girlfriends. They are like sisters you pick for yourself. I never understood the seriousness of this ten years back but now i can totally advertise this – Hell yeah!! I am in love with my girlfriends!!! No matter how old you grow , you have a man to love you, you would always need your girlfriends to go back to. I do agree friends could be both male and female but the kind of attachment you have with your girl gang  nothing can beat that friendship and it only grows stronger like a wine over the years. So invest that time in this friendship may be just calling up every one of them on a sunday afternoon over a conference call, meeting them for a coffee, asking them to help you go shopping, just talking to them right from that other girl in office to kitchen tips to sobbing about your heart-break to the new crush in office you would need them every time. I am glad to have found my besties over these ten years – Swetha, Ranjitha, Aakanksha, Sravani, Phanisri, Ahladini, Tulika, Nicy, Sriji and Sonam. These friends of mine have played different roles in my life – the caregiver, the crazy one, the rock, the opposite, the cool one, the honest one, the secret keeper, the i need to talk right now 🙂 🙂 🙂 And yup i have few guy friends who in the truest sense are my soul mates turned into friends without whom i guess i would always be incomplete. I love you guys too!! Who said soul mates only means lovers… isn’t it??

Lesson Learnt 08: Good education, financial stability, confidence is what a modern-day woman needs to have first for herself. Yes and i strongly live by it. Nothing more important than these three things and you could survive in this world. No matter if you have a financially stable partner one must always be have her own cash (for various reasons from moving out to buying something for yourself without thinking about the family obligations) Good education – knowledge is the strongest weapon one can have it can take you far and strong. Confidence- it may not bring you success but makes you ready to face all kinds of challenges.

So these are some of the lessons life has taught me in the last ten years from 18 to 28 life has been a roller coaster ride with so many twists and turns. Some hard times from which i have learnt to come out strong, some good ones which keeps the excitement and happiness emotion still dominant in me. I am not saying i know everything cause life is a journey and you learn with every step and turn. Like Maya Angelou said, “I know enough for today, for tomorrow I am learning.” Life is beautiful and we were born to be real and not perfect.

Ending with one of my fav quote – Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to Dance in the Rain!!!

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Sneha (gal from the island)

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How do QUOTES help us???

“Alone we can do so little; Together we can do so much. – Helen Keller”

Well that’s exactly how i feel about QUOTES. I think we have that inspiration within us, a kind of instinct, a spark and each one of us has that spark of inspiration within us, quotes help us connect with that spark. 

These are tried and tested over the years, these have motivated people to follow their dreams ranging from self help, to be focused, to trust relationships and people in it, to be disciplined etc etc.  Its like you are walking down the dark tunnel and all of a sudden you see light at the end of it that makes you rejuvenated and confident once again to gather all your courage and to just move towards that light finally leading you to your GOAL. 

These are not just words some random people have said, but they are those moments lived, experienced some out of failures, some out of success some by merely being in that moment and from different walks of life.  As humans, we always prefer following patterns and so these quotes deeply impact us, we could totally relate to it and we end up learning from it.

And the best part about the QUOTES is – they are short, sweet and yet leave us thinking so much about it. These are like little reminders to boost our spirits and refocus our day.

So my next post following this are all those quotes which have inspired me, boosted my moral, helped me know my worth, imbibed in me simple words like discipline/trust/love/passion/focus cause without which life would have no meaning , so stay tuned.